Haven’t had books to read so I might as well write something to show this blog is still alive. 🙂
Four months through graduation and I still find myself addled. Observing my surroundings has made me come up with the tortuous realization that reality sucks. I wasn’t wrong when I alluded that we, or more like I, would come scurrying back to my cave where all the comforts that define my humanity are simply within reach; moreover, with this inevitable realization, I discovered that my seclusion has gone worse to a point that I let my judgments blind me (I should seriously do something about that :s). What’s more, the further I get into the future, the more I grasp onto the past for fear of being swindled into a nebulous future. It’s true, reality crushes dreams. I see evidences of it more and more each day — from a random face in the street to the person in the next cubicle. I can easily recognize their insatiable expressions because I see it everyday in front of the mirror. Sad though this may be, I finally resolved to lock away my dream of becoming an ophthalmologist — lock it up, throw away the key, so not even a gleam of it could blind me anymore. That ideal formula has presented itself to me for some time, all I needed was a little push to reach it but reality had to release its manacles and tie me down to my resources forever; and I would just stare at the formula as it will eventually drift to the grasp of someone with a more magnanimous reality. A pedestrian career awaits me and I have no choice but to be very good at it, that way I could distract myself from the future that will never be mine [releasing sigh of disappointment :)].